I am well and truly convinced that we should be doing whatever we can in this world to help make this place we each call home, that little bit better for everyone.
I didn’t always think like this, too caught up in the “I must be a success” mindset. What changed everything for me was starting the single mother documentary. Remember, when I started this project, I didn’t know any single mothers personally, and the topic didn’t interest me much at all.
I had made several branded documentaries (films that look like documentaries but are paid advertisements) for various places including the Fukushima government and three short films for the BBC. There was the NHK stuff too, but working for NHK and doing a “documentary” is anything but rewarding. Maybe that’ll be a blog post for another day. Anyway my point is that after doing all of these, I realised I wasn’t all that bad at making real documentaries and when Frank heard about a horrible single mother story I had told him, and having seen my BBC stuff, he said:
“Dude you are super talented, you should totally make a film on that topic”
And so the idea for “The ones left behind: The plight of single mothers in Japan” was born. What happened over the next 18 months was a journey of discovery. Not only did I discover that Japan had a poverty problem, that single mothers and also married families were struggling to put food on the table, but I also discovered something about myself. I discovered an intense passion to want to help people through the power of documentary film. We can and should be doing more to help out those who have been left behind.
After 18 months, I finally decided to put a trailer up online. The response was phenomenal. It got over 20,000 impressions on Linkedin over the course of the first month.
My email inbox was suddenly flooded with people reaching out to say thank you for bringing awareness to such an important topic. Lots of people also emailed me with their personal stories and I can see that my work has helped give people the courage to speak up and tell their stories. This particular story found its way to me after I posted a short clip from the film:
This is the story I was sent. It’s both heartbreaking and thankfully, a somewhat happy ending. I feel a sense of pride that my work has enabled people to speak up, even if it’s just to little old me.
The story
Honestly, there are many things in my mind right now and not sure what I want to say right now. But I thought that I'd like to share a story of my life a little bit. I am sorry for the random message.
I was born in a broken family. My father had a girlfriend and also my mother had a boyfriend. They both were very aggressive and I don't know how many times I got hit, kicked or spat on from them. My mother's boyfriend liked to sexually play with me or my sister. My mother knew about it but never said anything.
I started cooking for myself was when I was around 11 years old. Almost all Japanese parents don't allow their children to use gas fire to cook while their parents aren't home but it wasn't mine. It was ok for me, they didn’t care.
Before I started cooking for myself, my father's company had bankrupted and all of sudden, we had to run away from a money collectors and that time my parents got divorced because my mother can get benefit from the government if she's a single mother. She started working day and night and that's why I had to take care of myself by my own.
I was alone always. Because of the violent experience, I always believed that talking about my thoughts or feelings are very bad thing but I always wanted someone to talk to. But there was no one who cares about me.
It is really really very hard to come out but… I got raped when I was in high school. But still there was no one I could talk to.
I had to dropout of the university only a half year later since I got in because we didn't have enough money to live. I could apply to the scholarship but I had to work instead.
I had to keep holding and hiding all of my thoughts or feelings, keep moving on and finally I completely broke down.
I was diagnosed with Dissociative Disorder when I was 20 years old. It took 2 and a half years to fully recover.
During this time, I tried to kill myself many times (I have scars on my arms) and suffered a lot.
I don't have the suicide mind anymore but have a lot of trauma and am still working on it to heal myself.
I don't know how many peoples I talked about my story in the past but I've lost most of them from my life. I'm not sure why but I think it was too heavy for them or maybe they thought I'm lying because most of Japanese grown up in a very peaceful family. And that's why I have only a few Japanese friends. (Most of my friends are from other countries.)
I'm kinda middle of my feelings right now. I want to help or support your activity because I am one of those hidden people in Japan and I might be able to help to make it better. Also it might helps me to heal by supporting them. But on the other hand, I feel very uncomfortable deep inside of myself. Because I don't want to remember what I experienced when I was a child.
But I believe there's a reason why the universe brought you to my life. And maybe this is the reason.
Right now, I feel that I need to have a meeting with myself though and find the answer what I want to do with your activity.
From my experience, I have learned how important childhood is. Actually, there was a school counselor in the junior high school I went but I couldn't talk to her because I loved my family even if it was broken, and talking about them makes me feel like admitting they're bad people, and I never wanted that. Also, I truly believed that I never should talk about my feelings or thoughts to anyone in this world.
I think the kodomo shokudo (food cafeteria for kids) system is great. But I think there are more children hidden who even can't go there or pretend like good children even if they go there. And who can make it change and give those children a good life in a healthy environment is their parent(s).
I think what you're doing is amazing. I believe it'll change so many single mothers' lives and also their children's.
I am enjoying myself, and my life and am simply very happy to be here in this world now but it took me so long to get here. No one deserves what I experienced or something similar. I really do hope your film will inspire people and make them move. I appreciate that you stood up and showing the world what reality is like in Japan.
I think reputation of Japan is too good but hiding the truth should be over.
Saw the trailer and would like to watch the entire documentary. Is it available yet for paid viewing, or online streaming? Also, thank you for trying to be part of the solution. sincerely, mark schumacher